Comments on: Do U Think This Is A Good Persusive Essay???

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 01:43:14 +0000

The essay is GREAT!!! And I completely agree, my younger children’s school has desert once a week or so and limits candy sales to once a month. On the other hand where my daughters are in high school, that’s all that’s offered JUNK!!! It should be mandatory to have healthy snacks in school like granola bars, jerky, fruit and it all fits in a machine. As for drinks, they should replace it with water, Gatorade, juice and so on. Keep up the campaign, GOOD WORK… I think a person would look a lot sexier at school having an apple and a water, then a chocolate bar and a Pepsi… Because it’s all about peer presure… So, if a guy sees a girl eating healthy, and one eating crap, who do you think he respects more???

By: john e russo md facm faafp

john e russo md facm faafp — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:24:57 +0000

This is an excellent essay. It is well thought out and well written. It addresses a major problem in the future of health care in this country. It is persuasive to me but I am like minded. I doubt that you will have little impact on those who prefer to do as they please irrespective of the consequences but I applaud your efforts. Bravo. Keep up the good work as it is for a good cause that being the health and well being of yours and future generations. Indeed the present generation is the first in the history of our country that is not expected to live as long as their parents and dietary habits such as you address is a major factor in this regard. Good luck and I hope that your essay is well received. Even if you gain only a single convert your efforts will have been worthwhile.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:30:37 +0000

not bad but very suggestive because of “should”. You can try to persuade without using “should”…

By: Hufflepuff Ninja

Hufflepuff Ninja — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:54:45 +0000

not bad.

By: jazzzzzzz D

jazzzzzzz D — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:03:13 +0000

the ideas are good, but i think you’re making too many generalizations. Instead of saying there are a lot of obese people and ignorant parents, i would suggest using specific examples. Those would be more convincing to me b/c very few people at my school are overweight and i know plenty of health-conscience parents. good luck!